It all began with a tender spot in the back of my head near where I had my hair tied into a bun. I reached my fingers into my hair and gave a little tug at the root. Still affixed to my scalp.
The tenderness began to spread. I tamed my bed head and pulled it back into a bun. Still no shedding. Throughout the day I noticed that my body hair was beginning to let go. I could pull out hairs normally requiring a tweezer with just my fingers and a gentle tug.
I took my hair down and ran my fingers through the length. I looked down at my hand to find a small bunch of hairs that had been wrongly displaced. In that moment the hourglass flipped, only I couldn’t see how much sand it held.
I woke up with my hair in it’s usually messy state. The beast needed to be tamed. I covered the drain and stuck my head under the bathtub faucet. The water rinsed strands of hair away from my head. I brushed the wet hair back into a bun, where it remained for the rest of the day. Before bed I felt the need to survey the damage, so I took my hair down. I ran my fingers through and through. The shedding never stopped.
The scalp tenderness had changed to tingling. I kept my hands off of my hair so not to disturb any of the strands. It needed to stay put for one more day. Saturday would be the day that I would flip the hourglass back over. A timer to the spring, when my hair will be in bloom.
Today was one of those days. A day where I got to pull out my list of “horrible things that cancer causes” and cross off an item with a big black marker. One item closer to putting this whole ordeal behind me. Time to shave my head and take back some control.
I wasn’t horribly sad or anxious. I dealt with those emotions when I cut off the length. Today was a day of new experiences. It was the first (and last) time I had a mohawk.
Since I was born with a full head of hair, it was the first time I’ve ever been completely bald.
I also had fun with all of Hilary’s wigs!
Not a bad day… really! Now I get to get acclimated with my baldness, my wig, and my hats. I get to put the worst part behind me and get on with my life.